so if you are here you will find that i have a more updated blog located at www.cobbman.com.
but since i’m bothering putting this, here’s my recent rant from my ‘true’ blog…
“last night a post that my hammock was tied to broke and fell on my brother Sterling and my friend Jessica. Both were taken to the hospital with head injuries. Currently both are okay. sterling has six staples and a big headache; Jess doesn’t remember what happened and also has a big headache. The doctor took a cat scan and neither of them had any broken bones. I’m glad they’re okay. Both will be taking it easy for a while.
Earlier yesterday i rode horses with Jo at the Blakely’s and we helped find two bulls and drive them to the water-hole. it was my first “true” cowboy experience. i had fun. a lot. wanna do it again.
anyways, school is getting pretty hard for me right now. it’s times like these where i feel like dropping out. i feel like i’m not really good at anything. why am i even here? i’m just wasting my time for a stupid diploma that hangs on the wall. i feel like i’ve learned all i can from school and now i need to move on and start learning from real life… well i keep seeing other people so motivated with their major – so ready to go out there and do a “fantastic job.” yet here i am counting the hours as they go by and wondering when i will go rock climbing again. i know if i stay another semester i’ll burn out and waste it just like i did last fall. i’m thinking of working and just finishing school part-time. i don’t even know why i’m here anymore. this place sucks and i’m not motivated… i’m sick and tired of trying to convince myself otherwise. i’m sick of all these people who are here b/c their parents are paying for everything and they have no backbone to stand up for themselves… instead they are just “following orders” or following a checklist of what’s the “right thing to do.” these next two weeks are going to be hell as i try and finish two block classes. only two. yet they feel like ten right now. ahh.. i feel better now, thanks for listening. ”
right now as i was walking i was thinking of life and goals, etc. and i decided i like two things: photography and encryption. these two things i’ve always loved since childhood. why didn’t i ever think to persue them? i dunno. i chose broadcasting and rec. leadership instead. but even though broadcasting hasn’t been a childhood love, i am glad i have experienced it these past four years in college. recreation leadership is a type of childhood love i have since i grew up always playing outside and going on “adventures” with my friends and sometimes my sister. as far as encryption: its the art of coding messages and puzzles. in elementary school i made many codes for the english alphabet. the current one i’ve used for many years is based phonetically rather than symbolically representing each letter. all this stuff i did on my own so basically i LIKE to to them. i also remember getting my first camera and how much i loved to take pictures with it. it had strange film that came in the form of a disk cartridge. i later used my dad’s SLR from the 1970’s to take some awesome pics for high school and early college classes. a few weeks ago i was showing the pics to a friend and she commented highly of them. it made me ask myself why i’ve stopped persuing the hobby… oh yeah my camera is in wisconsin and has been for the past 6 years, but that will change when my mom brings it back to utah tomorrow, then i can drive down to get it again. hmm, me and my camera reunited. it will be nastalgic.
i feel like in life i have tried new avenues and i am better as a result. the trade-off is being involved in things i have no passion for but only curiosity. i think i’m done with that route. now it’s time to go back to my old passions. that’s the way life is… you do things for a while and move on, then sometimes you come back to places you’ve been before. hopefully with a broader perspective on life. however, before finishing i have to say that by exploring my curiousities i’ve found new passions: such as passion for the outdoors and especially rock climbing. also the passion to help youth to find new direction in life (such as what i did while woking at Anasazi).
above all by trying new things, old things are not wasted. i may not have a “solid” goal in life as a result, but i have a better understanding of what’s on the other side of the fence, and i learned stuff about myself i probably would have never known had i not stepped out of my comfort zone.